Tell Your Heart To Beat Again | A Story of Anxiety and PTSD

Do you ever feel like a song comes on the radio at just the right moment and like God’s talking to you specifically through it? That’s been happening to me a lot lately. It always seems to be right before or right after a chiropractor appointment… random, I know! It’s happened a lot the past six months since my back went out on me. It’s like God’s saying, “Heather, are you listening to me?” I love to read my Bible now that I’ve been illustrating my faith and that’s usually my resource for when I’m looking to God for answers, but lately song lyrics have really struck me to the core and been so personal to me.

Last month one of those moments happened. I had been doing really well with my heath and back injury… not just physically, but mentally and spiritually too. Then one night a loud noise made me jump out of bed and start running before my husband quickly stopped me from actually running… the noise triggered some PTSD and anxiety that I had buried for 6 years. For two days, my heart was racing and I was a hot mess, crying all the time, and could hardly get out of bed and do much of anything. I tried so hard to remind myself of God’s promises but my mind wouldn’t let me believe them. My adrenaline was pumping like crazy. I was so frustrated that I couldn’t control my anxiety… I was trying to control it all on my own.

On the drive home from my appointment where my doctor calmed my heart and adrenaline down,  I was listening to K-Love. I heard Danny Gokey tell the story behind the song “Tell Your Heart To Beat Again” and then the song came on. I seriously felt like God was telling me, “Heather, listen closely to these lyrics, don’t just listen to the music.” As soon as I got home, I did a Google search on the song and Danny Gokey had a really important message to share, not just the little snippet on the radio about the heart surgeon and the woman… but sooooo much more. I want to share that with you, maybe you are going through some really rough times or can’t seem to get past something.

A week later, my pastor was teaching on Acts 26, Paul’s Testimony. The first thing that he pointed out was that Paul was unfazed by adversity. It reminded me that I’ve let adversity consume me instead of using it. It reminded me that God uses our pain and storms to grow us and out of it comes good. The one thing my pastor said that really felt like God was talking through him to me was, “God is using the storm so you have a platform to speak up about”. It made me realize that I need to share this story. I need to be unfazed by it, grow in my faith, learn from it, and speak up about these stories God gives me.

I have to tell you that I haven’t felt closer to God in a long time, since that incident a few weeks ago. I finally after hiding for so many years, am opening up about it. Do I still struggle with worry and anxiety? Yes, of course I do, but now I remember to tell my heart that everything He does is for good… I can look back and now see how far I’ve come rather than be consumed by it.

I also know that I’m not alone and God placed this story in me to share with someone who might need to hear it. I really pray that you will will listen to Danny Gokey explain the lyrics as well as really listen to the lyrics. I really couldn’t say it any better than he did. I pray that God will speak to you through those words like He did to me… to help me to relax and trust God and let Him take control of all the storms and then use them for good.

Love you to bits xoxo

Heather

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